In our daily lives we meet people all the time, some pass into and our of our lives faster than a blink, others come to stay for a while and then move on. Others come to stay for good, whether they are physically there or not their impact in our hearts are felt all throughout our lifetimes.
I've been very blessed to know a great deal of people who are very valuable and good in their expressions to the world, how they meet each day, how they passed on their goodness. Too many to name, in fact. I learned from them and gave all I had to each day and person, personalized love and affection greatly passing out all I had because I KNOW that what we send out into the universe comes back to you with greater weight than you sent it off. This pertains to both good and bad things, energy, motives, emotions. All of it. It is a rule like gravity and its pull that can be seen and measured but not fully quantified.
Being an introvert myself that comes across as an extrovert, I know what it is to exhaust myself in the drive to make the world better for others. Despite being staunchly set in my belief that I had to give to be worth receiving even a drop of what I sent into the world, I could not see that I was getting anything back due to being too focused on pushing it aside and giving more sand more and more.
This was my fault and my fault alone. I hadn't gotten what I wanted back so I said I had received nothing at all. Looking back it's sickening to me now, and I send my apologies into the universe. However, I was valid in cutting off the giving freely of myself to those who had been using me for their own personal needs just the same, just not for the reasons I had thought.
That aside, I need to share with the internet and anyone who reads this stupid little blurb patch an epiphany I had. No matter how people treat you or lash out we all deserve the basic respect and understanding we have given to others, or perhaps even more. You never know what that person has gone through and if they are angry or hurting, it only takes a few words to make them feel better and can end their wretched downward spiral into pain. Whatever you've been told or whatever you may think about a situation, you cannot argue or convince a person they are feeling bad for ridiculous reasons. It's simply not your call to tell a person what is or is not important to them, at least not at that moment.
When approaching a wounded animal, empathy and kindness rules the day. Because of that I have never been bitten or mauled by some fairly fearsome animals I encountered in the world. From bear to wolf, coyote to angry pit bull none have assaulted me and all respected me. This made me understand that I had unfortunately been approaching people differently than I would a beast. I was expecting more and getting less out of it.
This lead me to list 7 things that I un/consciously do with animals that I don't always do with humans, and thus I think my outcome has been poor.
1) I love you
If I have ever had anything to do with you, to some degree, greater or lesser, I love you. I believed this would go without saying to some, and saying to some people drives them off anyway. But just the same it needs to be said. I actually said it to a wolf named Fenris by his owner. Fenris was scared of me and usually hunkered close to a collie he'd taken as a mother figure in his life. But I didn't fear wolves, something in my heart doesn't take their actions int he world as anything but the actions of a creature wishing to survive. Even had he bitten me. But as I crouched down and approached him, he looked up at me as I held out my hand and the anger in them, along with the curling lip and snarl, faded as I said,"Fenris, I love you."
My heart went out to him and he laid down as I stroked his head. We'd become one in that moment as my heart spoke to his, his fear melted away. Teaching this to my eldest son allowed him, when feeling ill, to lay down with a wolf and be comforted as he felt sick in December of 2011.
2) I'm proud of you
This takes less explaining than most things, but I am proud of the people I have known and not because they are so famous that they reflect on me. I'm proud of what my friends accomplished and continue to accomplish. From overcoming disabilities to parenting, I am proud of you.
3) You're important to me, now and always
Whether I die tomorrow, or you do. If we never speak again or we speak hourly, you're important to me. That was something I also believe goes without saying, but I now know it needs to be said. You're important to me, what you want is important, what you feel is, what you like and enjoy is also. And it's always near to my heart even if I never say it to you. Military planes will evince thoughts of certain friends, and will spark imaginary conversations with people I know love them and appreciate them far more than I ever can. As does looking at Van Gogh paintings or listening to an Aria.
4) There is no one else like you
...though many may have similar habits and actions. But, this doesn't make you less special it makes you more so. Only you can have your life's story. I know that now, quite well.
5) People may overlook you, but to me you are always priceless.
I treasure every moment with you, simple as that.
6) You make many people's days better
Many people look to you for the start of their day, and some need you to get through their day. Still others need you for a happy close to their day. That makes you a crucial part of life.
7) The world would be a smaller/colder/darker place without you
Every life has worth, every dream you have makes the world better. It doesn't take never seeing a person again to gain this basic understanding. Just imagine life without the people you love and call friend, you automatically get a sense of the emptiness.
Now with all that said, I hope you take this to heart before you lose people or drive them off for being a complete dick to you. Conversely, this doesn't mean you should take their nonsense for even ONE second longer than you can handle it. Whether it's your fault or theirs int he end doesn't make a difference. Tell them how you feel, be sure to express this to them and then do what's best for you.
But while they are IN your life, you have a chance, you have the gift and the responsibility to do these 7 things. Do them, every day. DO them as often as you can and make sure they get the message. Learn to speak their language if they don't speak yours. No, I don't mean like Spanish, French or whatever. Language meaning the way they communicate issues and needs.
Learn that language then apply liberally.
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